Hypothetically, let’s just say… I ate all the dark chocolate bark thins I bought for my husband. Hypothetically.
Chop chocolate… lots of it. Good quality chocolate.
Let’s just say, maybe, after raving to my husband about the dark chocolate pretzel bark thins with sea salt and how they were going to change his life, I came home early from work and snuffed out any opportunity he might have had to try said life-altering bark.
Place chocolate in bowl and microwave. Grab a clean spoon and stir. Fight the hardening chocolate and live five minutes in denial that chocolate is seizing. Curse foolishness for not realizing the spoon was still wet from the dishwasher. Dump chocolate. Start again.
Let’s just say that I stared down that devilish little blue snack bag for a grand total of two minutes. That I walked over to the kitchen sink and poured myself a glass of water to convince myself I didn’t need the dark chocolate pretzel bark. That I questioned the sanity of whomever in the world thought a glass of water could replace a chocolate craving.
Stir pretzels into the dark chocolate and evaluate salty crunch to chocolate ratio. Refuse to dirty another chopping knife and attack pretzels like an angry cavewoman. Stir more (chunky) pretzels into chocolate.
Hypothetically, let’s just say that I downed the snack bag of dark chocolate pretzel bark in about 30.2 blinkin seconds. That I then thought of how I had brought that bag home to my deserving husband and presented it to him like some nectar of the gods. That I was then, immediately, overcome with guilt.
Spread chocolate in pan. Race to find spare battery for the camera. Try to get a beautiful shot of salt being sprinkled onto bark. Stare and blink at over-salted corner of the dark chocolate bark. Try to decide if ruining some more bark is worth the pretty photo.
Or at least I would have been overcome with guilt, if I had actually eaten all of the dark chocolate pretzel bark. Which I didn’t. Obviously.
Dark Chocolate Pretzel Bark with Sea Salt
This dark chocolate pretzel bark is the most exquisite combination of salty and sweet and richness that one could ever want. It is so so so easy to make (and quick!) and is perfect for keeping in the refrigerator for quick snacks or dessert.
I’m one of those people that loves to immediately follow up dinner with a small, sweet something. My husband will never understand me. But then I run into that never-ending loop, where you eat something sweet. Then you want something salty. And then you want something sweet. And then 500 calories later, you’re wondering why those jeans you bought last week don’t fit anymore.
In the undying words of Dad, “my dessert compartment is not full.” But this dark chocolate pretzel bark is the perfect little sweet and salty bite to nip my cravings in the bud. Annnnnnnnnnd to replace the bark thins I bought for David and then hypothetically ate.
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